TED TALK Reflections

I am a terrible speaker. No matter how many times I practice, and no matter how long I stay up (though I can never manage to get past 1 o'clock) my voice shatters and my knees buckle. The whole fancy audion stage didn't quite help either. However, Lukas went before me and he had somehow managed to ease my panic. He sang a song and played his ukulele, and that made me wonder if it's not so bad after. I admired his bravery so I decided to be brave myself. As I stepped onto the stage, I glanced over at my grandma's picture. I smiled, because it felt like she was urging me to go on and begin my speech. "Everything will be over in 5 minutes," she seemed to say. I tried to hide my fear today during the TED talk by projecting my voice and reminding myself that this was just my gifted class I was talking to. To be honest, I was a little excited, even, to see what people would say about my message.

The first time I was outlining what I would be saying, I focused too much on the outline. I had A LOT of things to say about my drawings and every steps that I went through to produce them. However, I remembered that this was a "TED talk". I suddenly wanted to give a real, original message that people would ponder upon afterwards. I've done that many times while watching TED, so I thought, "Well, I'm officially a TED speaker to, so why not go for it?" My main message was for people to stop paying attention to little details, or mistakes and to look at the whole picture instead. That's what I've really gained out of this project, and wanted others to know.

To be honest, I don't even know if I said all the things I've wanted to say, or truly managed to keep them pondering. I've forgotten everything, as soon as I stepped off of the stage. The nervousness that was supposed to overcome me in the beginning decided to rush over me as the talk was over.

Now for the part that I dread so much.... SELF EVALUATION!!

I would like to give myself a 30/30 for trying really hard, yet that's not how it works in the real world. I don't know about the time range on the stage, but when I practiced, it was around 5 minutes. For visual components, I tried to keep things simple, but made sure they hit my main points as I went along. However, I didn't press the clicker enough in the beginning, so I had to shuffle through some slides, so A POINT DEDUCTION! Hmm, I think I drove the presentation, because I didn't have much visual anyway, to take away audience's attention. I thought I was being passionate about my work, because I truly love drawing and painting! However, some people have asked me if I hated painting, so I guess it seemed as if I hated drawing? So another point I guess, for not seeming passionate. (Sorry if I confused anybody. I was just mad at myself for focusing too much on little details and not looking together "as a whole". But I do love painting and drawing... just in case anyone was wondering. :D) I think I've explained my process and purpose thoroughly. And as for delivery, I'll be generous to myself by only taking off one point, because I've tried... Like I've said, I wanted to sound enthusiastic, but talking about my failures kind of stopped me from being all happy and screaming "YAY!".

So my self-evaluation grade would be 27/30. (Pretty generous, huh?)

The Ten Commandments
Some of the commandments I've successfully(?) achieved.

1. Dream Big
I dreamed big... I've tried to tell a unique message, but I'm not sure if it stayed in anyone's mind. I thought it could change the world, but it didn't change any of the students, so maybe it only works for me.

2. Show us the real you
I don't think I've ever talked about my feelings and what I went through EVER, in front of so many people. I'm always the "listener" type because I find other people's stories more interesting than mine. However, today, I shared my passions and especially my frustration. It was easy for me, since I had a lot of failures to show.

Some of the things I didn't do well...
1. Don't read your talk
I stuttered in the beginning as I stumbled with both notecards and clicker. So I had to constantly look at my notecards in the beginning. However, starting from the middle, I stopped looking at the notecards, because I've gotten used to talking in front of the scary camera and neutral-faced audience. I don't recall, but I don't think I glanced at the notecards towards the middle to the end. Yet, I still stumbled and had to look at the notecards, so I wish I could've done better.

2. Connect with people's emotions
Unlike other people, I wasn't able to make ANYONE laugh during my speech...nonetheless "cry". I wish I could blame someone for this, but it's all my doing, sadly. If I have a chance to excuse myself, I would say, "But I wanted to get my message across, and I thought I shouldn't make anyone laugh while trying to be serious with my work".

I want to say thank you to those who helped me set up my presentation, because I honestly can't even do a task of plugging my computer with the projector. I also thank everyone for complimenting my work, even though I know that you are all just being nice. I'm sure this will be in my memory forever... Today, as of Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013, I now end my journey as an artist... Thank you again for staying with me until the end.